It's International Women's Day! You probably didn't know that. Well, congratulations, you're being celebrated. What I've been wondering all day is whether the day celebrates the female sex, the female gender, or both. I'd really like to be a part of it. I identify as nongender, but I want to accept my male body while I also have a strong desire to be female. It's events like this day that keep me confused and even self-loathing.
Once I broke down and cried to you about being a boy. I told you how I was sick of being a boy, how much I wanted to be a girl. Some time later, when she visited, you even tried to say to her that I was a girl inside. But I said that I don't care about being male or female. Usually that's true, but I've been wanting to be a girl much more often since I became depressed. On top of all the things I've always envied women for, I feel that there are so many things that would have gone right in our relationship if I were a woman. Men are more easily seen as intimidating. Maybe I wouldn't have been seen as so much of a threat if I were a woman. I wouldn't have felt the need to be a strong, decisive man and break up with you. In the first place, she could have had affection for me if I were a woman, so there'd be no problem to break up over. Just... everything would have been right.
You're the woman I cherish on this International Women's Day. I hope you're enjoying yourself. I hope you're happy being exactly who you want to be. Whenever you come back... the person you called your baby girl will be waiting right here.
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