There was an old dresser that we'd left in the backyard for months I think. The top of the dresser was weathered so badly that it sagged downward. We couldn't start using that dresser again if we wanted to. It simply sat there, with nobody paying any mind to it. Nobody tried to take it down, move it, even cover it.
Today, I grabbed a screwdriver and got to work. I started removing the screws from the dresser, slipping the components out. I started separating the planks of the dresser. I took my sweet time, putting the screws and parts aside to be dealt with later. There were two parts I had to destroy in order to remove. That weathered top was connected to the rest of the dresser by some bits that had absurd, huge screws. I just ripped that off. There was a random plank through the middle of the dresser, too. I just brought my foot down on the plank, snapping the wood and knocking it to the ground simultaneously.
Controlled destruction can be a good release for negative energy. It's not surprising, then, that I got nothing out of snapping the plank nor ripping the top off. Depression has taken away my ability to be angry, truly. Exerting brute force was no relief for me. However, otherwise dismantling the dresser did do something for me. It wasn't forcing something to its breaking point, but working it with a degree of attention to bring it down. I don't have wrath to let loose, but an emptiness to occupy.
