I let my frailty take the wheel

But maybe I'm a little bit weak.
I let my frailty take the wheel.

She said,
"Maybe there's a better me waiting for a better you, baby."

The words are lyrics excerpted from the song Middle of Nowhere as performed by the band Hot Hot Heat.

Not so bad for overcast

I haven't come down from feeling good. That's sure saying something, because normally having a blanket of light grey over my sun really bums me out! By normally, I mean before-all-this-shit normally. I'm really saying something here. I'm really satisfied with how I'm feeling.

Can't help but wonder if there's more to it than, "I just feel good." Not some ulterior motive, no, but some catalyst. Maybe all the good stuff in my life is finally having some effect on me. I mean, count it up: romance, friends, school, home, food, health, music. Yeah, I'm thinking even the music I've discovered lately has boosted my mood. I was thinking before that I just appreciate those things more now because I'm feeling better. Perhaps it's the other way around and those things are what helped me to finally feel better. After all, holding onto something meaningful that hasn't been here has dragged me through, so why shouldn't lots of things that are right around me help to push?

That sort of wondering doesn't hurt, but I wonder if it's not worth thought anyway. As with those days during depression when I'd inexplicably feel better for a run, should I just take it without questioning? For those days, the questioning was paranoia. For these days, the questioning is simply curiosity. Yet would it be better to redirect the little bit of effort away from wonder and toward enjoyment? My answer is yeah. If I have to ask about it, I can always do it here, with you.