My bestest friend ever

Throughout my life, I never had that best friend some people have. I never really stuck close to one friend. For 17 years, I couldn't name a favorite friend.

From the moment we met, I liked you so much. When you started at my school, we clicked instantly. In a matter of days, I fell in love with you. You fell right back in love with me. Throughout the years of our relationship, I told you that you were more to me than just my girlfriend. My affection for you is all-encompassing: I loved you as a sibling, woman, friend, parent, child... everything.

The one thing I failed to recognize was that you are my best friend. Because I never understood what a best friend was, I didn't even consider it. You asked me during our last weekend seeing each other whether I had ever had a best friend, and I told you that I hadn't. You said that's why I couldn't understand why you wouldn't cut her off. Now that I recognize that you are my best friend, I do completely understand. I cannot cut you off. You came into my life, and you will always be a part of it. And I know that I'm a part of your life, too.

Since we're here in each others' lives... I will do my best to make this presence a good thing. For my best friend.

I was wrong and just can't live without you

Yes, that title is a reference. The full song really is something you don't get from the Swiffer commercials. I've been tempted to throw away money to distract myself, like the first lines of the song suggest, but I haven't. There's a lot of free ways to do that which weren't available in the late 70s. Big thank-you to the internet right there.

I just wanted to make one thing clear: how I was wrong. I forced you to choose between me and your best friend. I wasn't even genuinely saking, I only wanted to test your loyalty. I thought I could teach you a lesson about loyalty by breaking up with you. I was arrogant, thinking that I needed to give you that lesson, that I was strong enough to teach it. You know, I didn't really think about how this would end. I figured we could continue to be friends, but I was under the illusion that I never wanted to be with you again. The biggest sign that I was lying to myself should have been that I completely stopped listening to music. You know how much I love music. I was not being myself; I was trying to be strong.

So many songs have said, "I'll die without you." I never took them as seriously as I do now, having thought that over and over. So keep me in your heart, so that I don't die.