Eating habits

I've been distracting myself with my weight lately. I've been slimming down over the last weeks, more slowly recently. I quickly dropped 10 pounds at first. Today I was the lightest that I've been in years, at only 192 pounds. I'm aiming for another 10 pounds off. I've been from 193 to 197 pounds prior to today.

At first, my tactic was very simple: don't eat, drink water. I still eat, but I eat very lightly, downing water most of the time that I feel hungry. Then I started going for healthier foods, avoiding animal products, processed foods, and especially sweets. Finally, especially as I find myself unable to abstain enough from the food I mentioned, I started adding spices to everything. That's when I realized that I have a huge tolerance plus a craving for spices.

My mom and grandma are extremely hesitant to bring on the spiciness when preparing food that I ask for. My grandma has been liberal enough with cayenne pepper on some occasions, but my mom never even gets close. Jalapeños just don't phase me, though they are delicious. The aforementioned cayenne is nice and spicy, but I honestly don't care much for the taste.

With all that pie and cake laying around in the house that I couldn't keep my hands off of, I have had to enforce my spice quota more strictly. Today my mom made a chile relleno for me; a green bell pepper was stuffed with beans, cheese, and jalapeños (yes, we stuffed pepper into the pepper), then we tried to cook egg onto it (the shape of the bell pepper defeated us on this front). Even though it didn't end up spicy enough, it was certainly delicious, and I think it'll make up for my sweets intake. I also hope the pure cinnamon I put onto the cake helps too. Well, I suppose the scale will tell tomorrow.

No, I'm not really doing this for myself. There are a few reasons for my diet. For one, as I mentioned, having this diet is distracting from my depression. Secondly, I know you always loved me and my body, but I want to be thinner to be sexier, or at least scrawnier to be less intimidating. Thirdly, I'm motivated not to eat much because I've lost much of my sense of entitlement; I'm happy to eat much less than I'd otherwise gobble up because that means I'll less of a waste of resources. On the flip side of that, my water intake is way up when we're supposed to be in a drought... whatever.

I hope I'm in a more desirable shape when you see me again!

Cake spoon

My little brother brought up a very good point today: so many cakes are very soft, so why use a fork to eat them? We can just cut through and hold them with spoons. And so he's opting for spoons instead of forks to eat up his cake. That's working perfectly fine for him; it doesn't really make any sort of difference, it just gives those underused spoons some love.

That guy's got good stuff coming for him. He doesn't just go along with what everyone else says. He questions and considers all those things. If something's pointless, he can buck it just as easily as he can carelessly embrace it. He doesn't let the world just push him along without knowing where they're pushing from. He doesn't blindly trust that someone knows more than him even when he doesn't know a thing.

I wonder what eating habits my little brother will question next?