Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Chlorine

My mom is recovering from a shoulder surgery. She's going to physical therapy regularly, but I thought it would additionally be smart to get her into the water. Not just smart, but also fun, of course! We went to a community pool the weekend before last, planned to this past weekend but were rained out, and went today. It's proven to be a good idea after all!

My brother's swimming skill has diminished, though. He's still alright. What baffles me is that he can't swim to one end of the pool and back. He can run tons more than I can without running out of breath, but he has much less stamina in the water. One issue we resolved was that his armstrokes were too fast; when he slowed them down, he didn't have to hesitate to breathe, seamlessly breathing in the 4th stroke of each few. Next, I just think he's become uncomfortable with swimming. That uses up more oxygen, did you know that? Staying completely calm and still - the dead man's float - is the best way to conserve oxygen, but that's obviously not an option when you're swimming. Anyway, he just needs to rebuild the comfort to swim so that he can make use of his true endurance.

My mom has quickly been regaining strength in her left arm, the one that was operated on. She wasn't moving it much when we went to the pool the first time. She was able to move it a lot underwater though, of course. Being able to move it so much underwater probably encouraged her to move it more while on land, really, and that's probably what's led to her current strength. I nearly forget sometimes that her arm was injured. Except when I'm going in for a hug, because I screwed up and put pressure on her arm when she first got all the gauze off. Yeah, I got cussed and yelled at. I'm kinda glad you haven't around to make that mistake yourself, given how intimidated you are by my mom already.

The other week at the pool I didn't long for you too much, really. I was occupied enough by swimming around, monitoring my mom, and jumping off the diving board. I had also been in quite high spirits. Lately, I've been much more melancholy. Enough to feel bad, not enough to have too much of an impact on my normalcy. It was enough for me to bug my friends about it, not hide it from my family, and of course now to write a message. For a while, I floated in the water just remembering how we played in the pool. You being my fox leech and all, heehee. Wrapping your arms around my neck as I made futile, though usually half-assed, efforts to shake you off. I wanted that again, even without the sweet kisses you'd give me when I gave up. I was cheered up by a rousing game of tag with my brother. My mom wouldn't participate, so she became the base, offering immunity to tags and freezing the It person for a few seconds. It would have been even more fun with a third person, namely you, involved.

I'd include that cute photo of you rising along the wall from the depths of your pool, drenched hair concealing your face down to your lips, but I still want to keep the spirit of anonymity on Tell Her Before I Die. Given that you've put your pretty picture online recently, though, I think I'll post that image on my G+. Just tell me if you want me to take it down for some reason~ ^.^ Well, take care of yourself. Nothing for me to do but just keep swimming. I hope you're feeling well.

Thursday, July 09, 2015

A dream that you held me

Last night I had a dream. I hardly remember what the dream was about or the places it occurred. All I remember is that, at various points in the dream, you came up behind me and hugged me. Not just a hug, really. You held me for minutes at a time. It felt so very nice.

In my dreams, I don't talk to you or meet your gaze. I try to pretend that you aren't there, because I don't want to reach out and unsettle you. Even when you talk to me or touch me, I stay quiet and avert my eyes. I've told myself that I would do this if I did run into you. I guess if I'm doing it in my dreams then I would successfully do it in life.

Despite that effort, though, I can't help the ways you make me feel happy in those dreams. I can't help laughing at the jokes you make, or smiling at the things you do. After some number of seconds sitting in a chair, you standing and holding me from behind, and having the biggest grin on my face, of course I couldn't help but rest my head back against you.

Could you make this dream come true soon? Honestly, it's the best one I've had in your stead.