For a while now, I've been going back through the Liked videos on my YouTube account and listening to the music. It's 3,248 videos long right now, and I'm on video 3,110. I can relate to some songs in ways I didn't understand before. Other songs help to distract me. The songs at this point are ones I knew long before I knew you.
I hope that listening to these songs can help me pretend that I never met you. Of course meeting you was a good thing. It was the best thing in our lives; I did put you together with her, after all. But right now it is not a good thing for me. The days when I didn't know you were the days when I could live without you, so I'll pretend that I'm in those times. Or, I'll pretend that nothing has changed since those times.
Music is truly my escape now, it seems.
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