It's hard to say that my depression started when I broke up with you, because I refused to feel it back then. I completely covered it up and ignored it. But I lost interest in the things that I love before I opened up to you. I lost interest in D&D, in videogames, in programming... so many things slipped out of my mind, and I was acting as if I was perfectly fine.
Back at that time, I wasn't thinking much about being with you again. Now that's what I think about to get me to the next day. I think that's why now I'm able to start to enjoy these things again. I just started a new module at my university - actually, I'm retaking what I dropped out of or flunked last module due to depression - and I'm off to a good start. My interest in programming has resumed. I'm motivated to do this school work. But what motivates me now isn't just that I like programming. It's you.
In order for me to talk to you again, I have to lead as good of a life as I can. Maybe I can't be happy, but I need to be successful. I need to have my life in my hands, my emotions recognized and managed. Then you'll want to talk to me again. I'm working hard to achieve that!
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