More and more lately I've been feeling the urge to stop. I've been feeling like stopping these messages. I haven't been talking to as many friends. I haven't been going out. I have stopped pretending that I care in many ways. It's a dangerous urge to be isolated that has been picking at me for a while now. I know that, once I've isolated myself, I'll feel the urge to disappear.
I can't let that happen. I need to keep acting normal so that I can do normal things. By doing normal things, I can progress in life. Progress leads to stability, and stability will lead you to me. I believe I've described this ladder before. I don't think there's anything I can do to stop this urge, but this feeling is one I actually should ignore. I've said that I need to be honest with myself, but what good is honesty when it takes me away from you? There's a time for being true and a time for coverup. I wish the times could be more clear. Life is all about the unknown though, isn't it?
So I will keep going. I won't slip. I pray that you're continuing too, firmly. We must keep going until we meet again.
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