I'm not angry at you for not staying by me. I know you were led into this course of action. I can't feel anger during this depression anyway. It should be clear that I wouldn't be angry at you right now. What might be questionable is whether I was ever angry at you since we broke up.
I was angry at you once. Surely you remember that. I was trying to find another relationship, with the person I could trust most. I told you who that person was. She was already in a relationship, so you told her about my interest before I was able to confess. That was to keep her from being "blindsided". When you told me that you'd already told her, we three were driving to hang out at my house. I had planned to confess to her there. Instead, I was the one blindsided. I was so angry that I yelled at you to get out of my car. You insisted on at least being taken to your mom. I dropped you off there.
I was angry, but that didn't quite have to do with not staying by me. When I gave you the ultimatum between your two loves and you let me down, I wasn't angry at you. As we went along being friends, I often acted like a jerk, but that wasn't to vent anger. It was to create distance while you became independent and I looked for a healthy relationship. I wasn't angry when you stopped talking to me, either. I was scared for my well-being. Ever since you stopped listening, I've been scared.
This doesn't make me angry. This scares me. Maybe if you knew that you would act like the best friend you said you were to me.
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