My dog bit my brother for the first time today. Yeah, probably the one you'd expect to do it. It wasn't a bad bite; it didn't even break the skin. Of course, my brother is too cool to get upset over something like that, too. Still, that's a big deal, and the dog kept growling afterward. See, when that dog really wants to be in a certain place, he'll defend his right to be there. That's probably what led to the bite. So, like a good owner, I scolded him. I told him to stop growling, putting my fingers in a ring over his snout. This wasn't dangerous for him, of course, because he can still breathe through his nose when that's going on. If anything he could slip out of my hand and bite me easily. He was better than that, though.
My stepdad and my mom have a different approach to the dogs' misbehavior. They prefer to let them be or to distract them with treats. Obviously, they're not interested in correcting the dogs' behavior. They just want the dogs to stop, they don't want to train them. So of course while I'm scolding the dog my step-father is telling me to just let him go. He didn't want the headache of hearing me scold the dog, though he didn't say that. He only ordered me to stop, just as I was ordering the dog to stop. I didn't stop. Often I'll oblige because giving my step-father problems means my mother will have problems later. Today, though, I knew the dog would listen soon enough. I ignored my step-father, and he sulked off into his office, slamming the door behind him.
The dog stopped soon, like I thought. Then more noise started up. When my step-father gets frustrated, he likes to sit in his office in front of his computer and blast music. That's his coping mechanism, and many teens are likely to be able to relate. He always does this, usually only loud enough to bother my mother who sits at her computer across the wall. Today, though, he took it too far. My little brother and I wanted to sit down and watch Supernatural, and we could hear the music as clearly as if it was playing from the television. I couldn't stand for that, knowing my mother had to deal with it being even closer. My little brother went to ask him to turn the music down. My step-father told him to just close all the doors. My little brother did so and, of course, it didn't help at all. So I went to his office to ask him to turn the music down, because we could hear it clear across the house. I reminded him how we always turn our volumes down when he asks us to. He largely ignored me, with his two responses being "I don't want to hear you" and "go ahead and turn it down yourself".
I knew that turning it down by force would accomplish nothing, so I simply threatened to stand over his shoulder until he turned it down. I didn't want him to just settle in and get comfortable while screwing with the rest of us. I told him that this was not the right way to handle his problems, and that he should stop being so inconsiderate of his family. My mother came in and started yelling at me to just let him do what he wanted. I just stood still. She took me by the arm and literally dragged me out of the room; I didn't want to hurt her, so I let her do it. I realized that my step-father would feel justified, given my mother's actions, so it was now pointless to play the mind-game of standing in his space.
I wasn't finished yet, though. I went outside to the fusebox. I could still hear the music clearly from outside. It wasn't locked, so I tried to get open it, but I couldn't get a good grip on the cover. Before I could open the box, my mother rushed out and got between me and the box. She argues her hand-off position, I argued my take-action position, and my brother stood with us outside. Eventually, understanding that I couldn't convince her, I walked away from it. But she wanted to make me understand, so she asked me to come back. I did, and she talked a bit more. I didn't try to convince her, though, and she sure didn't convince me of anything. My little brother noticed that we couldn't hear the music anymore. With that, we went back inside, and my brother and I watched our show.
The irony in me training the dogs to be obedient is always that I disobey when my mother or stepfather tell me to stop training. I used to feel guilty about that. However, I realize that, first of all, my obedience doesn't set any sort of example for the dogs. Second, I'm training the dogs because I know better than them. I know that growling and biting is the wrong thing for the dogs to do, so I scold them for doing it and pet and baby them for playing nice. However, I'm not a dog. My little brother isn't a dog. We're not pets of our parents; we're intelligent, thinking beings. In this case, they simply don't know better. Perceived wisdom through age doesn't trump logic. We're all human, and at the least we should be able to see each other equally. I don't try to train my parents to train the dogs correctly, because I don't have a place over them. Of course, my stepfather thinks he deserves a place over me and my brother, the power to give orders without question. I'm not saying that he's wrong because we know what to do better than he does, I'm saying he wrong because he's treating us like we can't think for ourselves.
When you thought for yourself, thought to try to stay my friend, you made the right decision. Then you gave in to others' wishes for you to abandon me, and I doubt that was the right thing to do. I don't want you to regret that decision to not think for yourself, and I know that I have learned so much from what I've gone through because of that decision. I just want you to know that you're a smart, loving, driven girl who should be respected for the decisions that she's made in kindness.
